Sunday, May 25, 2014

Lessons from a Dating Monsoon

You know those summer storms that roll in from nowhere and rain bucket-loads. That's what my dating life has looked like lately. I may have had a stretch of 10 dates in 16 days. Some good, some bad, and some downright painful. Now it's trickled down to the much more manageable number of one or two a week and will probably dry up as suddenly as it all started.

But that doesn't mean I haven't learned a thing or two during the downpour.

Dating is a numbers game. You're going to be interested in x number of guys. Of that number, a small percent are going to have interest in you and even smaller number are going to ask you out. The more dates you want, the higher your initial pool is going to have to be. 

You're going to have to be ok with rejection. Remember that numbers game.

Dating takes a lot of work. Not only on the dates (which can be exhausting to be "on show" constantly and remember what you've talked about with whom), but also in the ground work to get someone to ask you out. I now understand why I've known guys to keep spreadsheets on their dates and what was discussed. Lets just say I've been tempted to do the same. 

And you're going to meet some really good guys that give you hope. 

Dating is a talent. And to get good at dating you have to go on dates. 

Sometimes you're going to do a happy dance when a boy calls all while remaining incredibly calm while you talk to him.

Tinder can be summed up like this. People you've met in real life who weren't interested in getting to know you then now are.

You can tell a lot about someone by the pictures they post. I honestly don't get the obsession with gym workout pics or pictures in the bathroom mirror sans shirt. 

Every profile come with a skiing/rock climbing/waterskiing/marathon pic and all of the sudden you feel like you need to take up said hobbies if you're to have a chance. 

It's going to happen. Your date knows you had plans the night before so asks about them. You're now torn between telling them you had a date or and saying you were at dinner with a friend. Saying you were at dinner with friends usually wins out. 

If you mention that you like Mexican you're going to end up at a Mexican restaurant for EVERY SINGLE MEAL. Ok, not every single meal, just 90% of them.

Plus side of a dating monsoon.  You don't have to go grocery shopping for two weeks.

Because you were a 98% match you kind expect it to be perfect and are more disappointed when it isn't. Which also means that  you're less likely to put the effort in on something that's good but not perfect. 

Sometimes you're going to sound like a COMPLETE IDIOT. Especially when you're trying to impress someone. 

You're going to end up analyzing EVERY single thing you said--especially if you sounded like an idiot. 

You understand when the don't want a second date when you didn't seem to mesh on the first date. You're completely at a loss when the date was good and they say they're going to call and they don't. 

Then you start thinking Katy Perry is kinda smart when she said "'Cause you're hot then you're cold. You're yes then you're no. You're in then you're out. You're up then you're down." 

Sometimes they're going to surprise you. 

Expressing interest is the kiss of death. No, seriously it is. Times when it's ok to express your interest--after you're married. Until then be careful. :)

In the other hand, the less interest you show the more they are going to show. 

Sometimes you're going to have to fight for what you want. And sometimes it still doesn't turn out how you want.

Lastly, you like boy. Boy doesn't like you. You cry. And maybe you cry some more. 

Then you go on another date.


Meg said...

And it will all be worth it. Truly. Oh how I admire your persistence and positive attitude.

Brooke Plothow Nelson said...

Sounds like a roller-coaster ride! 10 dates in 16 days is impressive! Enjoy the ride!!!